keys.to.life.?.

my dear friends, here is a good tip for life: try not to lock your keys in your car. but if you do, try really hard not to leave your cell phone in the locked car, too. oh, and if all else fails, just please, PLEASE, try not to have it happen on a day when you have to be at a meeting within an hour and a half with the Refugee Education Committee at the Department of Education, where you have never been before, with your internship supervisor and about 10 other education professionals all in attendance there.

but, even if that whole scenario is absolutely unavoidable by this point, and you've trekked over to an office where they let you use a phone, but you can't get ahold of the people across town who could potentially bring you your extra set of your car keys.....you never know if it could turn out to be the highlight of your day. you know, you might even make a new friend.

i did!

well, just so you know, it's especially helpful if that friend is a friendly, assertive lady who has leased cars for 8 years from the same dealer your car happens to be from, and knows exactly where the closest dealership is, and calls them and finds out all your options. especially if she finds out that it will take about 5 minutes and 5 bucks to cut a new key, instead of the 55 minutes it would take your other friends to drive to you with your key, or the 45 minutes it would take for a roadside assistance professional to come and break open your car for $50. and it's kind of great if she offers to take her lunch break and drive you to the dealership, and if she tells you all about her high school sons who she says are strong Christians and good at everything under the sun, and her 20-something niece who has traveled all over the world and speaks French and Chinese fluently and sounds like she could be the President someday. annnnnnd if you check 'yes' to all of the above, then hey, it's probably a good idea to buy her lunch on the way back, even though that is a totally inadequate thank-you for all she's done for you.

but if all this is true, then you may find yourself in a state of some dismay that she doesn't seem to want much thanks at all. you get the feeling that what she really wants you to do is to thank God.

which is, really, by that time, all you can do.

hello.mr.president.

so much art has been inspired by this man over the past two years, though it probably comes more from the hype of presidential campaigning and the symbolism of the collective possibilites of achievement for Americans of all skin colors than from any personal achievement to bring justice or any commitment to King.dom values of peace and nonviolent resistance like the artistic tributes to MLK i posted on his Day. i don't yet see anywhere near the same radical convictions against militarism that King professed, which are still urgently applicable today, while the U.S. continues to amass and research and develop WMDs even though we already have more than the other top 20 countries combined. like a sick, sick bully stockpiling mountains of rocks for his slingshot when all the other kids have only a handful of stones, or no slingshot at all. so sick. i guess encouraging Americans to humble ourselves and serve each other and care for the world is a step in the right direction, a message thankfully a little different from "keep shopping, people". anyway, i put some pieces below that i thought were interesting. or that i just liked the colors. ;-)

i hope that he, who has been blessed with a cross-cultural upbringing, an illustrious education, secure financial situation, loyal wife and daughters, and now with this powerful political and global position, will now work to be a blessing. i hope that he whose given name is Barack will do everything he possibly can to be a 'baraka'.

i love what Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowery prayed in his benediction, his closing prayer of blessing, at the inauguration: "With your hands of power and your heart of love, help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nations shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors" [!amen!], "when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid, when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right" [i,for one, need to work on that.don't you?and i have read about and been part of maybe a few communities where this is done as a way of life,living the process of true reconciliation, true justice, but...too few, too few.and on a global scale...oh goodness don't get me started on MNCs and economic imperialism...wow.we have a long ways to go]. "Let all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. say Amen! say Amen."

amen = let it be so. let the hope continue beyond the hype. let him and everyone in positions of power choose to do justice and love mercy and wage peace, not just halt war. por favor. amen.

rev.dr.m.l.k.jr.day.

why.get.ahead.

a well-meaning, God-loving lady was advising me today that a TESOL certificate is all well and good, but if i want an 'edge' in the field of teaching ESL, i should really look into continuing my education immediately after i graduate and getting a full teaching license right away.

of course, her main advice was to pray about it, which i admittedly, ashamedly have not done enough of. i was speechlessly amazed as she told story after story of how she would pray every day for years, or for months, or even just for minutes about something, and God would work things out so fittingly even though she didn't usually have a logical or long-range plan, and somehow it worked out for her to get a particular combination of teaching licenses and endorsements that wouldn't have been possible at any other time, in any other way, which now can give her an edge because those areas are in high demand and she's highly qualified.

but what if i don't want an edge?

what if i just want to serve for a while, wherever in the world will accept me, license-lacking as i am?

what if i want an edge in a completely different direction?

what if i'm not cut out to have this particular edge sharpened that much further?

what if i'm not sure i like how this edge aids the sword of the American empire to thrust ever deeper and bloodier into the hearts of other cultures, other nations, other tribes and tongues?

what if i don't mind just being on par with hundreds of other aspiring ESL teachers who want to help people and who just have a certificate in it?

why do we have this obsession with getting ahead?

i will always remember the dazzlingly counter-cultural thing one of my high school teachers said as he addressed my graduating class at our baccalaureate service: "i won't tell you to reach for the stars, because then your hands wouldn't be free to reach down and help others."

i'm sure i'm overreacting, overidealistic, and probably miscalculating my options. but in whose math? what if i don't want to stay on their graph?

i guess right now the thought of trying to amass more education and money-making potential for myself while i'm already 'ahead', already have bunches of 'edges' on most of the world's population [including the Palestinians whose universities and schools have been hit by more than a few made-in-the-U.S.A. bombs lately, and whose population now includes 1200 less human beings, mothers and fathers and daughters and sons than it did 21 days ago] - the thought of scrambling to spend more money to do more coursework to get a more desirable degree, before spending some time serving the people on the edges of society, on the edges of poverty and caught in conflicts - the brokenhearted, to whom God is so near - that thought just turns me off like a lightbulb that goes fizzle-pop-bzzz-dark.

goodnight now, i need to go pray about this instead of writing any more.

PeAcE

action.inaction.

so i helped teach my first few ESL classes at a library and an apartment complex, and it was pretty chaotic but good to start meeting some of the people, getting familiar with the Exodus program and government requirements - the refugees have 3 months to learn english and learn how to handle money and health care and all the other systems here and find a job, and when their 3 months is up they're expected to work full-time and pay their own rent and bills and everything! it's crazy. Canada gives them a whole year to do these things - why, why in the world would they want to come here? oops, i guess maybe because they don't have too much choice...the people are so brave, though, and they want to learn so much, and they're so grateful to anyone who comes to help. they are mostly from Burma, but several different ethnicities - Karen, Chin, and Burmese - and then a family or two from Iraq and the Congo.

Bob and Pat, my wonderful hosts who treat me like a substitute granddaughter, know so much about the Karen people especially because they worked with them for many years in Thailand, where many of them live in refugee camps for up to 10 or 20 years before they are resettled in other countries like the U.S. and Canada and some places in Europe. now Bob and Pat are retired, but still very actively involved with the growing congregation of Karen families in their church - driving kids to dentist appointments and soccer games; helping with ESL classes and helping kids with their homework two evenings a week; organizing collections of clothing and food and other necessities for the families; taking a few young single women, some of them mothers, under their wings of friendship and parenting wisdom and understanding of the nature of cross-cultural transitions; and generally networking and mobilizing the non-Karen members of the church, or the 'anglos', or the 'foreigners' as Pat often refers to us white Americans when fishing for lack of a better term (which makes me smile because that is exactly what i feel like, a foreigner in disguise ;-) trying to encourage and enable them with clear opportunities to care, to come together to provide for those in need in their midst. funny that this hasn't quite become our first nature yet in the church, we who are supposed to embody Jesus for the world to see. funny that we need so much prodding and pleading before we'll do the things he taught and showed us how to do, before we'll love the people we've been taught by the world and media around us to fear. funny? funny just like this, too:

last night a man named Aung Chin Win Aung, whom they had met in one of the camps in Thailand about 12 years ago, joined us for dinner. he was a writer who fled Burma because he published some things that spoke out against the human rights violations of the government. he has now been in the U.S. for 10 years, working so many different jobs - meat packer, newspaper stacker, fiberglass factory worker, bartender, now limousine chauffeur and semi-truck driver all over the country. we talked through just about the whole history of Burma last night, along with the current state of American politics and foreign affairs...it was such an enlightening conversation, such a fascinating man who has paid a high price for his unimaginably hard-earned perspective. and he presented his latest book to Bob and Pat, in which he describes the history and the current dictatorial/criminal regime in Burma. i can barely even imagine the horrible things that the clients (the refugees that Exodus serves) have seen and been through. but i'm learning more every day as i read information about them for this internship, and as i listen to the stories Bob and Pat could tell endlessly from their years of close relationship with these suffering people.

in other news, 827 people have been murdered by the Israeli military in Gaza (more than 230 children & 100 women) & 3360 injured. weapons provided courtesy of George W. Bush and American taxpayers. blood is on my hands for all this inaction i have taken. or is it action to read, and weep, and pray, and hope?

also, my parents are in India right now, and here is what my dad said at 4:04 a.m. on Saturday:

"Fuel strike in India.
Please pray that the fuel strike ends and that we can get out of .... and on to the ariport on thu... there is a country wide strike by oil execs in india. all stations were closed as we rode up to ..... the car we were in just fueled up before the stations closed and would not be getting fuel again until the strike is over.
THere were hardly any vehicles on the road today. it was great for our travels, but not great for so many who need to travel.

d. "

[edit: as of Sunday 1:43 a.m., negotiations have cleared and petrol is supposed to start trickling back to the fuel stations by Monday or sometime early this week, so they should be fine.]

so these are the things shedding both light and shadows on my mind and heart these days. along with trying not to get lost in the city as i drive all over, to and from class on the south side and north side and Exodus downtown and the church where i'm also helping, and the retirement community which is 'home base' for j-term. and helping Pat cook and do dishes whenever she'll let me ;-)

no.rewind.button.on.life.

along with the invasion of Gaza, also pressing down on my panic button is the re-realization of the horrible things the Karen and Chin people have been through, who i will be working with during this month. whether in Burma watching their villages burn and family members being raped and killed, or in the meager camps in Thailand that became their homes for far too long, they have seen things i can barely imagine. i feel so unworthy to try to teach them anything - seems so trivial to teach them colors and foods and how to say 'i'm fine, how are you?' and how to fill out an application for a factory or housekeeping job when they have so much story inside them, so much that needs to be told to the world. or sung to the world. listening to a Karen church service is like hearing a sound byte from heaven. "mae, mae ku soh, ku soh yaw aw baw aw mu, daw ah ta taw, ta lo tur keh, daw ta kuh pa, po tha kei lur lur thu gwa, hallelu, halleluia" [seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you, hallelu, halleluia]

how.about.that.

by Khalil Bendib