i.miss.you.Camden.

things I will miss about Camden (in no particular order, and absolutely incomplete):

- walking the four blocks between my house and St. Anthony's every day, several times each way

- guys who lean out their pickup truck windows as they pass me on the street and shout out "God bless you, sweetheart!"

- ladies who sit on their front porch steps and greet me as i walk by with a "hey sweetie, how you doin?"

- little kids from my music classes and Peace Art program who yell and wave at me from their yards, "hi Miss Anna!"

- fresh garden vegetables from our backyard and from our plot in Brother Jerry's Garden across from the church and from the Mt. Ephraim produce stand

- Mexican rice and beans...Puerto Rican rice and beans...Dominican rice and beans...

- Marta's tamales, hot chocolate, and other refreshing drinks...

- anything baked or brewed or fondued by Father John

- living 5 minutes from Rita's Water Ice

- living 7 minutes from the Pennsauken Library

- yes, the view of the Philadelphia skyline is quite nice, but i wouldn't say it's the best thing about Camden as some have sarcastically stated. i'll just say it's nice.

- and so is the bridge between Camden and Philadelphia, which i will miss trekking across every so often

- living two blocks from a mural that i helped in the process of creation and celebration, which is literally a concrete testimony to how a community can live out peace and restore its streets to safety and beauty by taking care of ourselves, each other, and the earth, and a call to this community to step up and do that

- being able to sit with one of my ESL students after class and hear her story of seeing her mother and brother shot in front of her eyes in El Salvador, and of living in fear and wanting a better life for her children, and coming here to Camden and having her house broken into and herself held up at gunpoint for what little cash she had on hand, and then a few months ago breaking her foot and just the other day finding out that there's some bones out of place in it that the doctor can't fix (not sure if it's an impossibility issue or a money issue), but either way she might just always walk with a major limp...pray for 'Maria', por favor

- collaborating with CCOP and our local organizing committee to make a difference in the neighborhood with the numerous abandoned houses and the hazardous activities in the park

- weekly prayer and fun and everyday life with my housemates...always eye-opening experiences and conversations

- having the keys and knowing the tricks to open every door at the church, the friary, Francis House, Clare House..

- semi-weekly trips to the Treehouse coffee shop

- deejaying Eddie's concerts in the Francis House chapel, listening and watching his passionate, love-filled performances of Michael Jackson, Barry White, the Temptations, Earth Wind & Fire, Teddy Pendergrass, and more...telling his story of how he's survived growing up in Camden and living over three decades with HIV/AIDS, and watching the audiences' eyes widen at what a miracle this 'man in the mirror' is...

- planning and leading creative, interactive prayer services at Francis House and seeing the motto "Love Heals" lived out in our midst

- every prayer circle before every meal at Francis House, joining hands taking deep breaths, shouting out prayer requests, bowing our heads as a family and proclaiming together, "God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. God's will, not ours, be done. Amen amen!"

- Tuesday evening prayer with the friars, reading from the daily Office, especially the Franciscan prayer for vocations, "God, help us to be people of prayer after the example of Francis and Clare. May our lives of prayer be our source of strength in serving the people of God."

- Tuesday evening dinner with the friars, cooked by Sue!

- the beautiful holistic multicultural prayer that is mass at St. Anthony's

- the First Baptist Church of Moorestown with their welcoming embrace to me as a new member

- lunches and spiritual food with Rene

- going on trips to Georgia and Washington DC to advocate for peace and justice with Father Jud

- going on trips to Lancaster and NYC and Long Beach Island to refresh our bodies and spirits with Father John

- coming home to Camden. knowing that I have a home there.

goodbye for now, Camden. i love you.

i.saw.Jesus.tossing.water.balloons.

yes, throwing and welcoming the splash of water balloons on a steamy day. and doing the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance and the Electric Slide. and sipping orange soda. and jumping in puddles. and sitting on the steps or the curb, watching the fun, too tired or strung out to jump in. and standing under a tent roof surrounded by sound equipment and speakers. and running down the street trying to fly a flimsy kite for the first time ever.

all at the same time, you ask?! oh yes, there was a lot of Jesus to go around at the St. Francis Inn's annual block party on Sunday.

if you looked closely, you might have seen Jesus watching over a little one in a stroller, with a beautiful bulging belly indicating another one on the way.

you might have seen Jesus running around, threading through the legs of the grown-ups, popping all the balloons he can get his hands on and wading in the kiddie pool fully-clothed.

you might have seen Jesus wearing tight jeans and an undershirt, or perhaps a sundress, or a sweatsuit, each pulling off a near-perfect zombie impersonation to Michael Jackson's THRILLER.

you might have seen Jesus wearing an outrageous clown hat and a brown habit, spinning records to keep the party funky.

you might have heard Jesus telling the saga of his real life science fiction fantasy powers and self-proclaimed guardianship of the party and genuine pleasure to meet you in snatches of intelligible speech to anyone who will listen.

you might have even taken the hand of a 3-foot-tall Jesus in a flowery lavender dress and danced in a ring with her and her grandma, and twirled her around a couple of times.

maybe next year you'll be there to see Jesus with a camera around her neck, snapping hundreds of pictures of the precious and crazy and ordinary moments that burst open and splashed us all with life that afternoon.

(photos by Katie Sullivan :)

skating.in.sync.

on the River Rink!

[that was our FVM fun night a few weeks ago]

[you should go]

year.glass.half.full.

it is almost exactly the halfway point of my year of service in Camden, and my cup has already been filled to overflowing, more times than i can count. all i can do is name a few grains from the hourglass of this year's passing, a few drops from the River Grateful:

- St. Clare House, where i live with three other Franciscan Volunteer Ministers (FVMs), now has a prayer room! with sage green walls we painted ourselves, cheap gray carpet we installed ourselves, a comfy couch from craigslist, a bunch of pillows from Goodwill for sitting on the floor, a small table populated with candles we've been given, a space heater we were given by someone at church who had an extra, a zen garden populated with rocks from the recent demolition of the most hazardous house in our neighborhood, a little lamp, a framed picture of Jesus laughing, and a frame containing four watercolor pictures created by each one of us FVMs. it is already a life-giving space for us and it is exciting to think of how it will be a blessing to future volunteers, too.

- Francis House continues to be a haven. a family. a breath of fresh air. a healing prayer. a place where we remember, in the (slightly modified) words of India Arie, that the worst disease in the world is not cancer, it's not AIDS; the worst disease in the world is fear and hate, and the cure is love. and love certainly lives here. it is a place where those whose lives have been unalterably affected by HIV and AIDS come and are invited to experience that healing love and spread it to others. and they definitely spread it to me, every day i walk in the door to spend time there.

- i already know the names of all my new students in both the morning and evening ESL classes, which just started a new term this month. so far, they seem to understand when i communicate in Spanish, and they seem to be growing in understanding and confidence of how to communicate in English, and they even seem to enjoy the comic relief of when i get mixed up and things come out in Spanglish :)

- the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders still ask me if they can sing the songs i taught them for the Advent Pageant and for Martin Luther King Day. some of them swarm me when i enter their classrooms on Friday mornings, and some of them are constantly complaining that someone else is talking, and some of them ask to go to the bathroom every five minutes, and some of them burst into renditions of "we will, we will, rock you" whenever i have them start tapping or clapping a beat, and yet all of them have memorized how to sing "hello" in eight different languages and seem to proudly raise their voices as we start each class with this greeting to "all the children of the world!"

- i now have a chance to call upon my choral/vocal experience in order to lead breathing exercises, high sighs and sirens, and other warmups with the new choir for middle schoolers, as i assist a fellow FVM in directing them on Wednesday afternoons. we have started off our repertoire with a favorite of mine, "Siyahamba/we are marching in the light of God", and they seem to be rolling with the syncopation pretty well and even shaping their phrases a little bit. watch out, Chanticleer.

- the Camden Peace Art Project has been re-visioned by another fellow FVM and myself to integrate music and peacebuilding activities along with the primary focus on art skills and projects. AND, we have received several generous gifts and an important grant that is enabling us with not only the resources but the essential element of hope that we need in order to continue offering this biweekly after-school program for the children of this city.

- last week was Christian Unity Week in Camden, organized by CCOP. the kick-off was on Martin Luther King Day, with a workshop series throughout the day at St. Anthony's, all about community organizing, because that's what Dr. King did so phenomenally and got in trouble for, not just community service, not painting walls or picking up trash or serving in a soup kitchen, as helpful and necessary as those things may be. each evening there was a worship gathering at a different church around the city, and a different pastor/priest/preacher delivered the 'word', and different community members read the scriptures and prayed the prayers and made the announcements. BUT, the same choir, the Camden Christian Unity Choir, led the music every night. and i was in it. :) we sang mostly some contemporary gospel standards, but they also invited me to teach them a couple of songs in Spanish. claro que si, cantamos "alabare, alabare, alabare, alabare, alabare a mi Senor!"

Monday night at Camden Bible Tabernacle

Wednesday night at St. Bartholomew's Roman Catholic church

St. Bart's

Thursday night at Faith Tabernacle Church

Friday night at Antioch Baptist Church

nativity.creativity.

the other night, after a time of prayer together, my housemates and i got our creative hats and economical slippers on and cut shapes out of paint color-chips to craft some cards for the people we are connected to here in camden, and here is a glimpse of a few of them. some of them express something about our personal connection with that person, and some of them express my prayer for all of you and all of the world: PEACE.

franciscan.home.makeover.

as part of our commitment to living in community for this year, we are jointly responsible for the general upkeep of the house we have been given. we have a monthly budget that we can divide however we need, to pay for food, gas, some community activities, and necessities for the car and house. one of my housemates in particular has a passion for tackling home improvement projects - and this house needs a lot of them! another housemate has a keen eye for aesthetics, so with those forces combined, using some of our free days and hours, we've been able to accomplish a lot. so far, we have:

- soaked and wiped down all the window blinds and fan blades from around the house to remove years of dust build-up

- stripped the grimy flowered wallpaper off the top half of the kitchen walls

- spackled, sanded, and painted those walls a beautiful, bright, clean white

- peeled the multiple-patterned adhesive layers off of the chlorine-blue faux-tile that is tacked all over the bottom half of the kitchen walls [we have yet to clean those and paint a deep, dusky purple over them]

- spackled and primed the scuffed-up, off-white walls of the dining room

- painted the dining room walls a warm, delicious pumpkiny color called 'falling leaves'

- stuffed steel wool into gaps around the lower edge of the house so that mice can't get in

- spackled the back bedroom and painted over its former shade of 'suave mauve' to a rich, dark-chocolaty hue called 'moroccan henna'

- repeatedly dumped Dran-o down the shower drain to solve our water-staying-in-the-tub problems [currently trying 'El Diablo', some professional drain-unclogging concoction i was handed from the back room of Cartun's, our local hardware store]

- patched up some places in the living room where the wallpaper with the creamy buttery yellow paint over it was peeling away from the wall

- rearranged the living room into a much more inviting setup, and mounted some lovely artwork on the walls

next up:

- cleaning and painting the bottom half of the kitchen

- converting our current storage/recycling room into a nice reading/prayer room

- painting the middle bedroom so that its occupant doesn't have to stare up at neon green all night and look around at uneven white walls all the time

- who knows what we'll come up with after that!

bird.friends.

be.the.art.in.me.

here's a taste of the Camden FVMs' most recent homemade community fun night:

- choose your own recipe: take your choice group of adventurers, and sit them down with their computers for 15 minutes to visit www.muralfarm.org and each choose one mural from Philadelphia's 1,500-count-and-growing roster of impressive community art projects

- gather your ingredients: ensure that each adventurer has a working camera, that at least one has a driver's license with them, and that someone has the addresses and directions to the chosen locations

- grease the pan: add gas to car [or, if in Jersey, let the gas station attendant do so]

- turn up the cooking-heat: park and turn adventurers loose at each destination to take pictures of the part or parts of the mural that are somehow personally meaningful or artistically attractive

- stir in some reverence for the 'healing power of music' and other art forms

- shake it up by striving to become part of the muralscape if possible

- let it rise: go home, share some kind of food and a time of silent prayer together, and then share the pictures and the thoughts evoked by them.

- enjoy :)

waterfalls.and.falling.leaves.

Ricketts Glen State Park:

- site of our community fun outing yesterday

- about a 3-hour drive each way, which i drove, marveling at Pennsylvania's epic rolling landscape and luscious autumn colors

- home of 22 waterfalls along a 7-mile hiking trail, which we hiked at our own unique pace in the midst of many other individuals making their way through the rain-showery day

- a much-needed immersion in the glorious spirit-nourishing wilderness: the eye-dazzling sculpture of rocks and boulders; the rich red-orange-yellow-brown brushstrokes of the leaves on trees, on the ground, and swirling in the air; and the surround-sound joy-bursting music of water, wind, and birds!

- i miss it already :)

feasting.for.peace.

so, this past weekend i experienced a major milestone in the Franciscan calendar and in the life of the parish of St. Anthony of Padua here in Camden: the Transitus and the Feast Day of St. Francis.

the Feast day was on Sunday, Oct. 4, so all three morning masses were dedicated to celebrating Francis' life and example to us as a lover of Christ, people, and all living things. afterwards, many people brought their pets to the front steps of the church to receive a prayer of blessing from the priests - what a lively riot of cats, birds, hamsters, and dogs of all shapes and sizes! and what an act of mindfulness and gratefulness to God - this decision to intentionally, publicly dedicate even the animals in the household to the purposes of God, to acknowledge how all living things can point to the beauty and creativity and love of God. even the Francis House birds, which sometimes stink and squawk our ears off... they got blessed that day, and they can be a blessing, too! and maybe by their very helplessness, their constant demand for attention and care and cleanup, they may help us to practice love and cultivate humility...let's hope so!

the Transitus was Oct. 3, this past Saturday. the occasion, commemorating the date of St. Francis' death, was marked by an evening liturgical service. the Bible study group that i have been attending with my fellow FVMs and several families from the church, called Quest, was asked to prepare and lead the service, so i was privileged to participate in:

- welcoming people at the door

- handing out programs and candles to each one

- walking silently and joyfully in the opening candlelight procession into the church

- watching a slideshow/video of the story and sayings of St. Francis as he faced and welcomed his death by inviting his fellow religious brothers to his bedside and encouraging them to love God and be faithful to the Gospel

- listening to the same passage from the Gospel of John 13:1-17, which Francis asked his friends to read to him right before he died

- listening to Deacon Fadi, a Franciscan friar from Jordan, share a reflection about St. Francis' life of peacemaking, particularly his efforts to care for creation and to befriend the Sultan of Egypt in the middle of the Crusades

- eating the fresh, soft roll of bread that was handed to me and to each one there, so we could communally remember and experience the way St. Francis wanted to share abundantly with everyone in need

- introducing the intercessory prayer along with my roommate, Norma, who said: "In the spirit of St. Francis, we pray for peace in the world, in our city, in our church, and in our spirits, by lighting these candles and speaking these words that mean 'peace' in 14 different languages." and then i said: "esta noche, oramos por la paz en el mundo, por la paz en nuestra ciudad, en nuestra iglesia, y en nuestros espiritus, mientras que iluminamos estas velas y decimos estas palabras que significan 'paz' en catorce lenguas diferentes. entonces, en el espiritu de San Francisco y en el nombre de Jesucristo, oramos: paz y bien (spanish), salaam (arabic), shalom (hebrew), amaithi (tamil), shanti (hindi), amani (swahili), mir (russian), hoa binh (vietnamese), he ping (chinese), paix (french), frieden (german), pace (italian), irini (greek), peace." as i said each word, one of the Quest group members placed these prayers for peace in front of a candle and lit it, and when all were said and lit, everyone said together, "Gracious Lord, hear our prayer"

- witnessing the blessing of a relic of St. Francis, which was a small scrap of cloth set in a metal medallion with a clear glass front, which was further set in the center of a gold cross, similar to these pictures:

- holding hands with everyone in the congregation to pray the Lord's Prayer

- shaking hands, hugging, or cheek-kissing everyone who recognizes us FVMs on our way downstairs for the refreshments after the end of the service

- sampling various treats including a home-brewed hot chocolate with cinnamon, cubes of 'pasta de guayaba' (guava jelly/paste) with cheese, pumpkin spice mini-muffins from a local bakery, and a peach jello-cake with cool whip and fresh blueberries on top (made specially by one of my fellow FVMs, with my help frosting and designing the blueberry placement pattern :)

- going home inspired to read more about the life of St. Francis

also on Sunday, i was able to visit the First Baptist Church of Moorestown, a wonderfully welcoming little community, which was celebrating World Communion Sunday. so, the children's sermon featured several baskets of traditional breads from various countries and cultures of the world, and the grown-ups' sermon emphasized the message that even though there are so many different traditions of how to share in the Lord's Supper/Communion/Eucharist/etc, and so many different explanations or doctrines about what actually occurs in that mystery of broken bread and poured drink and human bodies-minds-hearts and God's presence all meeting together somehow...even though all these divisions seem to exist and complicate our existence, still we can meet together, we can share the experience, we can be shaped more and more into the fullness of who God means us to be, to be like Christ, to affirm with our whole beings that there are many kinds of feasting, but "there is one body and one Spirit - just as [we] were called to one hope when [we] were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." (Ephesians 4:4-6)

what a vision of unity; wholeness; peace. i'll feast to that.

camden.gets.funky.

last night, for our 'community fun night', we headed over to the Camden waterfront area, which has been developed in recent years with an Aquarium and a Children's Garden and a boardwalk along the Delaware River. browsing for local events online, we stumbled onto this and decided to check it out.

Courier Post online photo

delighted to find free parking just across the street from what promised to be a fantastic free concert, we weren't too fazed by the numerous smashed beer bottles and cases strewn about the lot; we encounter these every day just walking the four blocks between our house and the church. so we made our way down to the crowd at the foot of the Wiggins Park stage, set with a perfect view of the Philadelphia nighttime skyline (pictured above during daylight and below at night). and were pleasantly surprised by the high-energy, wholesome blend of soul/funk/rock/gospel music streaming live from the speakers and infusing the audience with some in-your-face hope-in-spite-of-everything, with the audacity to dance their hearts out or the freedom to lay out on the grass and let the soundwaves wash over them. thanks to the Robert Randolph Family Band, the "most-often-stuck-in-my-head" award these days goes a little like this... "you're a shining star, no matter who you are, shining bright to see what you could truly be..."

just across the water, at the Penn's Landing riverfront area of Philadelphia, free festivals like this are common all summer long. in fact, probably a good portion of the people milling around last night came over via the Ben Franklin Bridge to enjoy one more end-of-summer bash, with a little change of scenery. but in Camden, it is a significant and triumphant step to put on such an event and hope, por favor, that it will happen again next year. and it doesn't solve any of the massive headaches Camden faces, doesn't exactly alleviate poverty or improve education or reduce violence or any of those urgently necessary things, but i do think the presence of events like this is important sometimes. to create space and an environment where people can celebrate the good and the possibilities in life together, or at least escape from some of its stresses and pressures. to rain down a little joy-burst on the dust and busyness of our lives. to remind us of the starlight within...

new.home.base.

here's what's been blowing my mind a little each day since august 15:

i live in Camden, New Jersey. this is a home of mine now. this is where i will sleep, eat, sing, dance, garden, teach, learn, cook, clean, speak, listen, walk, run, read the newspaper, surf the internet, drive a minivan, smile, cry, swing in the park, buy groceries, take out the trash, pray, and breathe for the next eleven months.

Camden is one of the poorest cities in the United States - for the past several years it has consistently ranked in the top 3 for crime and poverty. there are over 4000 abandoned properties scattered throughout the neighborhoods, where drugs are bought and sold like hot cakes. i live in Cramer Hill, which is in north Camden, probably one of the nicest sections, with an active community development corporation (the CHCDC) that has helped to create much safe and affordable housing, and yet just two blocks down the street from me is a row of three houses that have been sitting abandoned for about 20 years, during which multiple fires have burned out their insides, and if you just push on one of the sideboards with your pinky finger it flaps back and forth - this thing is ready to fall anytime. it's been labeled an 'imminent hazard' by the city since fall 2008, which means that it should have been demolished, at the absolute latest under LAW, by about 10 months ago. and yet it still stands. 'still stands tall', according to the Courier Post today which carried the story of the local churches' action to try to get the city to take care of this dirty business. i was there.

;-) i carried a banner and a cardboard bulldozer. you can read the story and look at pics here.

i have three housemates - one girl and two guys - who are working with the same program, Franciscan Volunteer Ministries. we like to drink tea and laugh together. i'm excited to get to know them more.

there's so much more i could say about my past 13 days of living here, and about what my day-to-day activities for this year may look like (my schedule is still kind of in process of being developed), but i mostly want to say that everyone i've met here has been wonderfully kind and welcoming. a neighbor down the street told us how he makes sure everybody puts their trash out so that it's easier for the trash man to pick it up. a lady from our church gave us an overflowing basketful of peppers and tomatoes and eggplants and canteloupe from her garden. a man at the HIV/AIDS hangout center gave us a heart-felt concert of Michael Jackson karaoke. the maintenance man at a recently-shut-down Catholic school across town lent us his truck and his own sweat and effort to help move all the textbooks, gym equipment, computers, and other useful materials to the school here, which hasn't had enough money to buy new things for years. so he helped us move it all, and then he gave us several bags of mocha cappuccino mix from the coffee company he works for. the lady who runs the HIV/AIDS ministry just brought pasta, rolls, and salad over for us for dinner, since we were working on that school job all day. our supervisor, Father John, canceled one of our meetings one day and just took us to a nature preserve on the banks of the Delaware river and we walked the trails and shore for a while.

i think it's gonna be a good journey.