my dear friends, here is a good tip for life: try not to lock your keys in your car. but if you do, try really hard not to leave your cell phone in the locked car, too. oh, and if all else fails, just please, PLEASE, try not to have it happen on a day when you have to be at a meeting within an hour and a half with the Refugee Education Committee at the Department of Education, where you have never been before, with your internship supervisor and about 10 other education professionals all in attendance there.
but, even if that whole scenario is absolutely unavoidable by this point, and you've trekked over to an office where they let you use a phone, but you can't get ahold of the people across town who could potentially bring you your extra set of your car keys.....you never know if it could turn out to be the highlight of your day. you know, you might even make a new friend.
i did!
well, just so you know, it's especially helpful if that friend is a friendly, assertive lady who has leased cars for 8 years from the same dealer your car happens to be from, and knows exactly where the closest dealership is, and calls them and finds out all your options. especially if she finds out that it will take about 5 minutes and 5 bucks to cut a new key, instead of the 55 minutes it would take your other friends to drive to you with your key, or the 45 minutes it would take for a roadside assistance professional to come and break open your car for $50. and it's kind of great if she offers to take her lunch break and drive you to the dealership, and if she tells you all about her high school sons who she says are strong Christians and good at everything under the sun, and her 20-something niece who has traveled all over the world and speaks French and Chinese fluently and sounds like she could be the President someday. annnnnnd if you check 'yes' to all of the above, then hey, it's probably a good idea to buy her lunch on the way back, even though that is a totally inadequate thank-you for all she's done for you.
but if all this is true, then you may find yourself in a state of some dismay that she doesn't seem to want much thanks at all. you get the feeling that what she really wants you to do is to thank God.
which is, really, by that time, all you can do.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
hello.mr.president.
so much art has been inspired by this man over the past two years, though it probably comes more from the hype of presidential campaigning and the symbolism of the collective possibilites of achievement for Americans of all skin colors than from any personal achievement to bring justice or any commitment to King.dom values of peace and nonviolent resistance like the artistic tributes to MLK i posted on his Day. i don't yet see anywhere near the same radical convictions against militarism that King professed, which are still urgently applicable today, while the U.S. continues to amass and research and develop WMDs even though we already have more than the other top 20 countries combined. like a sick, sick bully stockpiling mountains of rocks for his slingshot when all the other kids have only a handful of stones, or no slingshot at all. so sick. i guess encouraging Americans to humble ourselves and serve each other and care for the world is a step in the right direction, a message thankfully a little different from "keep shopping, people". anyway, i put some pieces below that i thought were interesting. or that i just liked the colors. ;-)
i hope that he, who has been blessed with a cross-cultural upbringing, an illustrious education, secure financial situation, loyal wife and daughters, and now with this powerful political and global position, will now work to be a blessing. i hope that he whose given name is Barack will do everything he possibly can to be a 'baraka'.
i love what Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowery prayed in his benediction, his closing prayer of blessing, at the inauguration: "With your hands of power and your heart of love, help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nations shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors" [!amen!], "when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid, when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right" [i,for one, need to work on that.don't you?and i have read about and been part of maybe a few communities where this is done as a way of life,living the process of true reconciliation, true justice, but...too few, too few.and on a global scale...oh goodness don't get me started on MNCs and economic imperialism...wow.we have a long ways to go]. "Let all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. say Amen! say Amen."
amen = let it be so. let the hope continue beyond the hype. let him and everyone in positions of power choose to do justice and love mercy and wage peace, not just halt war. por favor. amen.
i hope that he, who has been blessed with a cross-cultural upbringing, an illustrious education, secure financial situation, loyal wife and daughters, and now with this powerful political and global position, will now work to be a blessing. i hope that he whose given name is Barack will do everything he possibly can to be a 'baraka'.
i love what Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowery prayed in his benediction, his closing prayer of blessing, at the inauguration: "With your hands of power and your heart of love, help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nations shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors" [!amen!], "when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid, when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right" [i,for one, need to work on that.don't you?and i have read about and been part of maybe a few communities where this is done as a way of life,living the process of true reconciliation, true justice, but...too few, too few.and on a global scale...oh goodness don't get me started on MNCs and economic imperialism...wow.we have a long ways to go]. "Let all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. say Amen! say Amen."
amen = let it be so. let the hope continue beyond the hype. let him and everyone in positions of power choose to do justice and love mercy and wage peace, not just halt war. por favor. amen.Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
why.get.ahead.
a well-meaning, God-loving lady was advising me today that a TESOL certificate is all well and good, but if i want an 'edge' in the field of teaching ESL, i should really look into continuing my education immediately after i graduate and getting a full teaching license right away.
of course, her main advice was to pray about it, which i admittedly, ashamedly have not done enough of. i was speechlessly amazed as she told story after story of how she would pray every day for years, or for months, or even just for minutes about something, and God would work things out so fittingly even though she didn't usually have a logical or long-range plan, and somehow it worked out for her to get a particular combination of teaching licenses and endorsements that wouldn't have been possible at any other time, in any other way, which now can give her an edge because those areas are in high demand and she's highly qualified.
but what if i don't want an edge?
what if i just want to serve for a while, wherever in the world will accept me, license-lacking as i am?
what if i want an edge in a completely different direction?
what if i'm not cut out to have this particular edge sharpened that much further?
what if i'm not sure i like how this edge aids the sword of the American empire to thrust ever deeper and bloodier into the hearts of other cultures, other nations, other tribes and tongues?
what if i don't mind just being on par with hundreds of other aspiring ESL teachers who want to help people and who just have a certificate in it?
why do we have this obsession with getting ahead?
i will always remember the dazzlingly counter-cultural thing one of my high school teachers said as he addressed my graduating class at our baccalaureate service: "i won't tell you to reach for the stars, because then your hands wouldn't be free to reach down and help others."
i'm sure i'm overreacting, overidealistic, and probably miscalculating my options. but in whose math? what if i don't want to stay on their graph?
i guess right now the thought of trying to amass more education and money-making potential for myself while i'm already 'ahead', already have bunches of 'edges' on most of the world's population [including the Palestinians whose universities and schools have been hit by more than a few made-in-the-U.S.A. bombs lately, and whose population now includes 1200 less human beings, mothers and fathers and daughters and sons than it did 21 days ago] - the thought of scrambling to spend more money to do more coursework to get a more desirable degree, before spending some time serving the people on the edges of society, on the edges of poverty and caught in conflicts - the brokenhearted, to whom God is so near - that thought just turns me off like a lightbulb that goes fizzle-pop-bzzz-dark.
goodnight now, i need to go pray about this instead of writing any more.
PeAcE
of course, her main advice was to pray about it, which i admittedly, ashamedly have not done enough of. i was speechlessly amazed as she told story after story of how she would pray every day for years, or for months, or even just for minutes about something, and God would work things out so fittingly even though she didn't usually have a logical or long-range plan, and somehow it worked out for her to get a particular combination of teaching licenses and endorsements that wouldn't have been possible at any other time, in any other way, which now can give her an edge because those areas are in high demand and she's highly qualified.
but what if i don't want an edge?
what if i just want to serve for a while, wherever in the world will accept me, license-lacking as i am?
what if i want an edge in a completely different direction?
what if i'm not cut out to have this particular edge sharpened that much further?
what if i'm not sure i like how this edge aids the sword of the American empire to thrust ever deeper and bloodier into the hearts of other cultures, other nations, other tribes and tongues?
what if i don't mind just being on par with hundreds of other aspiring ESL teachers who want to help people and who just have a certificate in it?
why do we have this obsession with getting ahead?
i will always remember the dazzlingly counter-cultural thing one of my high school teachers said as he addressed my graduating class at our baccalaureate service: "i won't tell you to reach for the stars, because then your hands wouldn't be free to reach down and help others."
i'm sure i'm overreacting, overidealistic, and probably miscalculating my options. but in whose math? what if i don't want to stay on their graph?
i guess right now the thought of trying to amass more education and money-making potential for myself while i'm already 'ahead', already have bunches of 'edges' on most of the world's population [including the Palestinians whose universities and schools have been hit by more than a few made-in-the-U.S.A. bombs lately, and whose population now includes 1200 less human beings, mothers and fathers and daughters and sons than it did 21 days ago] - the thought of scrambling to spend more money to do more coursework to get a more desirable degree, before spending some time serving the people on the edges of society, on the edges of poverty and caught in conflicts - the brokenhearted, to whom God is so near - that thought just turns me off like a lightbulb that goes fizzle-pop-bzzz-dark.
goodnight now, i need to go pray about this instead of writing any more.
PeAcE
Sunday, January 11, 2009
action.inaction.
so i helped teach my first few ESL classes at a library and an apartment complex, and it was pretty chaotic but good to start meeting some of the people, getting familiar with the Exodus program and government requirements - the refugees have 3 months to learn english and learn how to handle money and health care and all the other systems here and find a job, and when their 3 months is up they're expected to work full-time and pay their own rent and bills and everything! it's crazy. Canada gives them a whole year to do these things - why, why in the world would they want to come here? oops, i guess maybe because they don't have too much choice...the people are so brave, though, and they want to learn so much, and they're so grateful to anyone who comes to help. they are mostly from Burma, but several different ethnicities - Karen, Chin, and Burmese - and then a family or two from Iraq and the Congo.
Bob and Pat, my wonderful hosts who treat me like a substitute granddaughter, know so much about the Karen people especially because they worked with them for many years in Thailand, where many of them live in refugee camps for up to 10 or 20 years before they are resettled in other countries like the U.S. and Canada and some places in Europe. now Bob and Pat are retired, but still very actively involved with the growing congregation of Karen families in their church - driving kids to dentist appointments and soccer games; helping with ESL classes and helping kids with their homework two evenings a week; organizing collections of clothing and food and other necessities for the families; taking a few young single women, some of them mothers, under their wings of friendship and parenting wisdom and understanding of the nature of cross-cultural transitions; and generally networking and mobilizing the non-Karen members of the church, or the 'anglos', or the 'foreigners' as Pat often refers to us white Americans when fishing for lack of a better term (which makes me smile because that is exactly what i feel like, a foreigner in disguise ;-) trying to encourage and enable them with clear opportunities to care, to come together to provide for those in need in their midst. funny that this hasn't quite become our first nature yet in the church, we who are supposed to embody Jesus for the world to see. funny that we need so much prodding and pleading before we'll do the things he taught and showed us how to do, before we'll love the people we've been taught by the world and media around us to fear. funny? funny just like this, too:
last night a man named Aung Chin Win Aung, whom they had met in one of the camps in Thailand about 12 years ago, joined us for dinner. he was a writer who fled Burma because he published some things that spoke out against the human rights violations of the government. he has now been in the U.S. for 10 years, working so many different jobs - meat packer, newspaper stacker, fiberglass factory worker, bartender, now limousine chauffeur and semi-truck driver all over the country. we talked through just about the whole history of Burma last night, along with the current state of American politics and foreign affairs...it was such an enlightening conversation, such a fascinating man who has paid a high price for his unimaginably hard-earned perspective. and he presented his latest book to Bob and Pat, in which he describes the history and the current dictatorial/criminal regime in Burma. i can barely even imagine the horrible things that the clients (the refugees that Exodus serves) have seen and been through. but i'm learning more every day as i read information about them for this internship, and as i listen to the stories Bob and Pat could tell endlessly from their years of close relationship with these suffering people.
in other news, 827 people have been murdered by the Israeli military in Gaza (more than 230 children & 100 women) & 3360 injured. weapons provided courtesy of George W. Bush and American taxpayers. blood is on my hands for all this inaction i have taken. or is it action to read, and weep, and pray, and hope?
also, my parents are in India right now, and here is what my dad said at 4:04 a.m. on Saturday:
"Fuel strike in India.
Please pray that the fuel strike ends and that we can get out of .... and on to the ariport on thu... there is a country wide strike by oil execs in india. all stations were closed as we rode up to ..... the car we were in just fueled up before the stations closed and would not be getting fuel again until the strike is over.
THere were hardly any vehicles on the road today. it was great for our travels, but not great for so many who need to travel.
d. "
[edit: as of Sunday 1:43 a.m., negotiations have cleared and petrol is supposed to start trickling back to the fuel stations by Monday or sometime early this week, so they should be fine.]
so these are the things shedding both light and shadows on my mind and heart these days. along with trying not to get lost in the city as i drive all over, to and from class on the south side and north side and Exodus downtown and the church where i'm also helping, and the retirement community which is 'home base' for j-term. and helping Pat cook and do dishes whenever she'll let me ;-)
Bob and Pat, my wonderful hosts who treat me like a substitute granddaughter, know so much about the Karen people especially because they worked with them for many years in Thailand, where many of them live in refugee camps for up to 10 or 20 years before they are resettled in other countries like the U.S. and Canada and some places in Europe. now Bob and Pat are retired, but still very actively involved with the growing congregation of Karen families in their church - driving kids to dentist appointments and soccer games; helping with ESL classes and helping kids with their homework two evenings a week; organizing collections of clothing and food and other necessities for the families; taking a few young single women, some of them mothers, under their wings of friendship and parenting wisdom and understanding of the nature of cross-cultural transitions; and generally networking and mobilizing the non-Karen members of the church, or the 'anglos', or the 'foreigners' as Pat often refers to us white Americans when fishing for lack of a better term (which makes me smile because that is exactly what i feel like, a foreigner in disguise ;-) trying to encourage and enable them with clear opportunities to care, to come together to provide for those in need in their midst. funny that this hasn't quite become our first nature yet in the church, we who are supposed to embody Jesus for the world to see. funny that we need so much prodding and pleading before we'll do the things he taught and showed us how to do, before we'll love the people we've been taught by the world and media around us to fear. funny? funny just like this, too:
last night a man named Aung Chin Win Aung, whom they had met in one of the camps in Thailand about 12 years ago, joined us for dinner. he was a writer who fled Burma because he published some things that spoke out against the human rights violations of the government. he has now been in the U.S. for 10 years, working so many different jobs - meat packer, newspaper stacker, fiberglass factory worker, bartender, now limousine chauffeur and semi-truck driver all over the country. we talked through just about the whole history of Burma last night, along with the current state of American politics and foreign affairs...it was such an enlightening conversation, such a fascinating man who has paid a high price for his unimaginably hard-earned perspective. and he presented his latest book to Bob and Pat, in which he describes the history and the current dictatorial/criminal regime in Burma. i can barely even imagine the horrible things that the clients (the refugees that Exodus serves) have seen and been through. but i'm learning more every day as i read information about them for this internship, and as i listen to the stories Bob and Pat could tell endlessly from their years of close relationship with these suffering people.
in other news, 827 people have been murdered by the Israeli military in Gaza (more than 230 children & 100 women) & 3360 injured. weapons provided courtesy of George W. Bush and American taxpayers. blood is on my hands for all this inaction i have taken. or is it action to read, and weep, and pray, and hope?
also, my parents are in India right now, and here is what my dad said at 4:04 a.m. on Saturday:
"Fuel strike in India.
Please pray that the fuel strike ends and that we can get out of .... and on to the ariport on thu... there is a country wide strike by oil execs in india. all stations were closed as we rode up to ..... the car we were in just fueled up before the stations closed and would not be getting fuel again until the strike is over.
THere were hardly any vehicles on the road today. it was great for our travels, but not great for so many who need to travel.
d. "
[edit: as of Sunday 1:43 a.m., negotiations have cleared and petrol is supposed to start trickling back to the fuel stations by Monday or sometime early this week, so they should be fine.]
so these are the things shedding both light and shadows on my mind and heart these days. along with trying not to get lost in the city as i drive all over, to and from class on the south side and north side and Exodus downtown and the church where i'm also helping, and the retirement community which is 'home base' for j-term. and helping Pat cook and do dishes whenever she'll let me ;-)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
no.rewind.button.on.life.
along with the invasion of Gaza, also pressing down on my panic button is the re-realization of the horrible things the Karen and Chin people have been through, who i will be working with during this month. whether in Burma watching their villages burn and family members being raped and killed, or in the meager camps in Thailand that became their homes for far too long, they have seen things i can barely imagine. i feel so unworthy to try to teach them anything - seems so trivial to teach them colors and foods and how to say 'i'm fine, how are you?' and how to fill out an application for a factory or housekeeping job when they have so much story inside them, so much that needs to be told to the world. or sung to the world. listening to a Karen church service is like hearing a sound byte from heaven. "mae, mae ku soh, ku soh yaw aw baw aw mu, daw ah ta taw, ta lo tur keh, daw ta kuh pa, po tha kei lur lur thu gwa, hallelu, halleluia" [seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you, hallelu, halleluia]
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
and.then.the.tanks.rolled.in.
and then i feel like pounding something again.
if you care to listen to a few who are feeling the Gazan ground pound under them, just look here:
tabulagaza
sabbah's blog
in gaza
electronicintifada
sami awad
joy in palestine [in the West Bank]
or at the very least, this article from The Guardian.
and now i feel sick.
maybe 8 hours of driving tomorrow will make me feel better. ??
praying 'peace' and 'help' and 'ouch' and 'let's weep together, Papa'
if you care to listen to a few who are feeling the Gazan ground pound under them, just look here:
tabulagaza
sabbah's blog
in gaza
electronicintifada
sami awad
joy in palestine [in the West Bank]
or at the very least, this article from The Guardian.
and now i feel sick.
maybe 8 hours of driving tomorrow will make me feel better. ??
praying 'peace' and 'help' and 'ouch' and 'let's weep together, Papa'
Saturday, January 3, 2009
sky.church.
everything looks better bathed in sunrise.
peering up at the dome of my morning cathedral through the windshield,
with corn-stalk pews on my right and left,
snow settled down on top of them to listen to the dawn,
recycled-sweater-mitten-hands folded on my lap,
tangerine-dyed alpaca fur beanie holding in my head's heat,
rag-doll heart testing its seams with tentative hope,
speeding towards a cello that will be flying to a school in India tomorrow.
the prelude and offertory of generosity, the litany of greeting old friends,
the communion of coffee and breath-steam,
the benediction of hugs and cruise-control.
a little raw from the scrubbing, maybe,
the light foliating off layers of darkness from the fields and farmhouses and slush-clods,
but overall...church was good today.
i think i'll go again tomorrow.
cracking.the.spell.
somehow i've managed to stir up a cocktail of certain books and films and world news reports and internet info-searches that is brewing up a storm of dark eyebrow-clenching anger in me right now.
right now, the new year is raining fire and blood on Gaza. God, if that doesn't make the sweet Sudoku game on my new phone seem a little inconsequential. even while watching the Bourne trilogy on january 1, all i could think was: this is not so far from nonfiction. our government trains people to kill and then kills them, or at least kills a significant part of their humanness. our government sells weapons of mass destruction to countries, assassinates their leaders, inadvertently helps trigger rebel groups against the inhumane way people are being treated as a result of these interventions, and massacres hordes of precious human beings under the dehumanizing labels: 'soldier'. 'terrorist'. 'civilian'. all considered as 'collateral damage' for 'the cause'. our government arms both sides of a war and sits back on its obese behind and collects the profits. our government has acted like a vicious vampire, sucking the life-blood and hopes of the nations so we can get stronger and more comfortable and 'free'. normally i would balance this kind of venomous criticism with some nice sentiment about how we've also done a lot of good for other countries, you know, gave them clothes after tsunamis and tried to get food to them during genocides and famines, and tried to pump Popeye's miracle spinach into their economies by providing a yellow brick road from the burgeoning shelves of American mega-super-greatland-stuff-marts to the friendly factory near them! where they can work! 12 hours a day! for a whole DOLLAR!
okay, maybe i'd say it a little nicer than that, on a sane, kind day. the books i've been reading say it much, much nicer. but they also cut the crap, and crack the spell that binds so much of the U.S.A. with the incantation 'God bless America! God bless the troops! they're fighting for our freedom! let's win this war on terror! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! don't worry, we've got the Just War theory!' Just.War.has nothing to do with Jesus. [does it mention him? or any of his teachings? have you read it lately?] and Jesus wants nothing to do with it. he said LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. since when does that include killing them? since Christianity got drunk on the cup of power Constantine handed it, that's when. oh, i've known vaguely about the atrocities committed in the letter of the name of Christendom but in the spirit of mad grabs for power over society, and vaguely abhorred them, but haven't really known what to do with that. i still don't know what to do with that.
because these incidents are not just history; they are current events. when presidents and war chiefs tell us they are saying their prayers that good will triumph over evil - who is good? who is evil? who the hell are they even praying to? Wendell Berry wrote [quoted in Jesus for President] "These prayers are usually understood to be Christian prayers. But Christian prayers are made to or in the name of Jesus, who loved, prayed for, and forgave his enemies and who instructed his followers to do likewise. A Christian supplicant, therefore, who has resolved to kill those whom he is enjoined to love, to bless, to do good to, to pray for, and to forgive as he hopes to be forgiven is not conceivably in a situation in which he can be at peace with himself." are we able to be at peace with ourselves while 36 cents out of every tax dollar we pay goes to grease up the military machine and muscle up the war squads and tighten our government's grip on the necks of our enemies and allies alike? if i sound paranoid and full of rage here - it's because i am.
i feel like we're Prince Rilian in the Silver Chair, captive in the service of the evil witch, with many vertical miles of dirt and roots and rocks between him and the lovely, true, Aslan-serving, air-and-love-and-miracle-filled land of Narnia. she swirls her green gases into his brain every day so that he can't remember who he is or where he comes from, and remembers only her and her underground kingdom of darkness, but the illusion wears off every night and he knows the truth, knows who he is and whose name bears all light and truth and goodness and Love-power, which is no power at all, but overcomes everything anyway. he knows, in the dead of night, but she chains him to the chair ['for his own good'] so that he is unable to act on his knowledge and return to Narnia, to the real, beloved community where his life is meant to be lived.
i have no idea where[s] in the world the rest my life is meant to be lived, but right now i'm squarely placed in the Midwest United States, and with this new burden of knowledge, of Jesus and his example and teachings of nonviolent resistance to injustice [graced by Shane Claiborne, Anne Lamott, Walter Wink, Aung San Suu Kyi, and Father George Zabelka] i know i need to take some steps, baby steps maybe, to not stand up for this bloodthirsty empire of the U.S.A. any longer. i'm rethinking portions of my high hopes for Obama because i think he's probably still under that spell of the delusion that "this country is still the last best hope on earth" [his own words from the David Letterman show, quoted in Jesus for President]. it's scary to think about laying down a lot of parts of my way of life that seem to fuel the greedy imperialism of this country, but also there's a secret, subversive relief to the dream of living more simply, being less weighed down by the scramble for stuff to make you seem like you stand up tall and cool and successful in this society. but mostly, i don't want to stand up for it because i think Love lays down.
i mean, just look in the book, for Christ's sake.
besides all those times Love actually lays down
[in manger. in boat. on cross. in tomb.]
still Love lays down pride
even when sitting
[in temple. on hillside. on donkey-back. at supper table.]
even when kneeling
[to wash dirty feet. to pray in garden. to be flogged by barbed whips.]
even when standing
[turning water to wine. calling the disciples from shore. traveling and healing. clearing temple of money-changers. being betrayed by kiss. carrying cross. walking on Emmaus road, alive!]
Love lays down.
ha, i already didn't do a very good job of it, in using such violent defaming words against the people who've made those horrible decisions in the U.S. government and the historic church. i've never bought into the childhood taunt that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." bullshit. words hurt. like hell. but they can also heal, and so i will keep trying that, in light of whatever i learn. i wonder: how cold is it in Gaza tonight? how much fear is in the air in Israel? how many cries are bouncing off of the Wailing Wall? how many tears are the angels of Palestine catching in their bottles while we go on sleeping and eating and playing Uno?
cracking the spell, tonight, means cracking open my own heart and adding a little trickle of my tears to their torrent. for all of the above and more. because Christ is suffering. again. in the land of Palestine. tonight. laying down with the bleeding bodies, laying down before the hardened hands pulling the triggers, laying down with the fatherless children, the prodigal sons and the prayerful Christians and Muslims and Jews and with the atheists, too. that's reality tonight.
in other news, i think everyone should see Slumdog Millionaire [in theaters]. and The Kite Runner [out on DVD now]. in their fiction, they hit smack dab in the middle of some of the truth about India's slums and Afghanistan's war effects, respectively.
ha! i just found a couple pieces of advice from a long-time foreign resident in the Middle East about how to react with trust in God in this situation:
1. When you watch TV don’t get upset or fearful about the future, but turn those emotions into prayer. Literally. Stop for just 30 seconds and pray for both Israelis and Palestinians. Spend a bit more time praying for the ones you wouldn’t most likely be praying for.
2. Ask God what your part in this is. We’ve all heard that “we might be God’s solution to some problem.” It might be true. Don’t take yourself too lightly. You might hold some key to ...
[...cracking the spell. Walter Wink calls it the 'myth of redemptive violence']
let's pray so. let's pray. pray peace. pray that we will lay down. that we will love. love Love.
right now, the new year is raining fire and blood on Gaza. God, if that doesn't make the sweet Sudoku game on my new phone seem a little inconsequential. even while watching the Bourne trilogy on january 1, all i could think was: this is not so far from nonfiction. our government trains people to kill and then kills them, or at least kills a significant part of their humanness. our government sells weapons of mass destruction to countries, assassinates their leaders, inadvertently helps trigger rebel groups against the inhumane way people are being treated as a result of these interventions, and massacres hordes of precious human beings under the dehumanizing labels: 'soldier'. 'terrorist'. 'civilian'. all considered as 'collateral damage' for 'the cause'. our government arms both sides of a war and sits back on its obese behind and collects the profits. our government has acted like a vicious vampire, sucking the life-blood and hopes of the nations so we can get stronger and more comfortable and 'free'. normally i would balance this kind of venomous criticism with some nice sentiment about how we've also done a lot of good for other countries, you know, gave them clothes after tsunamis and tried to get food to them during genocides and famines, and tried to pump Popeye's miracle spinach into their economies by providing a yellow brick road from the burgeoning shelves of American mega-super-greatland-stuff-marts to the friendly factory near them! where they can work! 12 hours a day! for a whole DOLLAR!
okay, maybe i'd say it a little nicer than that, on a sane, kind day. the books i've been reading say it much, much nicer. but they also cut the crap, and crack the spell that binds so much of the U.S.A. with the incantation 'God bless America! God bless the troops! they're fighting for our freedom! let's win this war on terror! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! don't worry, we've got the Just War theory!' Just.War.has nothing to do with Jesus. [does it mention him? or any of his teachings? have you read it lately?] and Jesus wants nothing to do with it. he said LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. since when does that include killing them? since Christianity got drunk on the cup of power Constantine handed it, that's when. oh, i've known vaguely about the atrocities committed in the letter of the name of Christendom but in the spirit of mad grabs for power over society, and vaguely abhorred them, but haven't really known what to do with that. i still don't know what to do with that.
because these incidents are not just history; they are current events. when presidents and war chiefs tell us they are saying their prayers that good will triumph over evil - who is good? who is evil? who the hell are they even praying to? Wendell Berry wrote [quoted in Jesus for President] "These prayers are usually understood to be Christian prayers. But Christian prayers are made to or in the name of Jesus, who loved, prayed for, and forgave his enemies and who instructed his followers to do likewise. A Christian supplicant, therefore, who has resolved to kill those whom he is enjoined to love, to bless, to do good to, to pray for, and to forgive as he hopes to be forgiven is not conceivably in a situation in which he can be at peace with himself." are we able to be at peace with ourselves while 36 cents out of every tax dollar we pay goes to grease up the military machine and muscle up the war squads and tighten our government's grip on the necks of our enemies and allies alike? if i sound paranoid and full of rage here - it's because i am.
i feel like we're Prince Rilian in the Silver Chair, captive in the service of the evil witch, with many vertical miles of dirt and roots and rocks between him and the lovely, true, Aslan-serving, air-and-love-and-miracle-filled land of Narnia. she swirls her green gases into his brain every day so that he can't remember who he is or where he comes from, and remembers only her and her underground kingdom of darkness, but the illusion wears off every night and he knows the truth, knows who he is and whose name bears all light and truth and goodness and Love-power, which is no power at all, but overcomes everything anyway. he knows, in the dead of night, but she chains him to the chair ['for his own good'] so that he is unable to act on his knowledge and return to Narnia, to the real, beloved community where his life is meant to be lived.
i have no idea where[s] in the world the rest my life is meant to be lived, but right now i'm squarely placed in the Midwest United States, and with this new burden of knowledge, of Jesus and his example and teachings of nonviolent resistance to injustice [graced by Shane Claiborne, Anne Lamott, Walter Wink, Aung San Suu Kyi, and Father George Zabelka] i know i need to take some steps, baby steps maybe, to not stand up for this bloodthirsty empire of the U.S.A. any longer. i'm rethinking portions of my high hopes for Obama because i think he's probably still under that spell of the delusion that "this country is still the last best hope on earth" [his own words from the David Letterman show, quoted in Jesus for President]. it's scary to think about laying down a lot of parts of my way of life that seem to fuel the greedy imperialism of this country, but also there's a secret, subversive relief to the dream of living more simply, being less weighed down by the scramble for stuff to make you seem like you stand up tall and cool and successful in this society. but mostly, i don't want to stand up for it because i think Love lays down.
i mean, just look in the book, for Christ's sake.
besides all those times Love actually lays down
[in manger. in boat. on cross. in tomb.]
still Love lays down pride
even when sitting
[in temple. on hillside. on donkey-back. at supper table.]
even when kneeling
[to wash dirty feet. to pray in garden. to be flogged by barbed whips.]
even when standing
[turning water to wine. calling the disciples from shore. traveling and healing. clearing temple of money-changers. being betrayed by kiss. carrying cross. walking on Emmaus road, alive!]
Love lays down.
ha, i already didn't do a very good job of it, in using such violent defaming words against the people who've made those horrible decisions in the U.S. government and the historic church. i've never bought into the childhood taunt that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." bullshit. words hurt. like hell. but they can also heal, and so i will keep trying that, in light of whatever i learn. i wonder: how cold is it in Gaza tonight? how much fear is in the air in Israel? how many cries are bouncing off of the Wailing Wall? how many tears are the angels of Palestine catching in their bottles while we go on sleeping and eating and playing Uno?
cracking the spell, tonight, means cracking open my own heart and adding a little trickle of my tears to their torrent. for all of the above and more. because Christ is suffering. again. in the land of Palestine. tonight. laying down with the bleeding bodies, laying down before the hardened hands pulling the triggers, laying down with the fatherless children, the prodigal sons and the prayerful Christians and Muslims and Jews and with the atheists, too. that's reality tonight.
in other news, i think everyone should see Slumdog Millionaire [in theaters]. and The Kite Runner [out on DVD now]. in their fiction, they hit smack dab in the middle of some of the truth about India's slums and Afghanistan's war effects, respectively.
ha! i just found a couple pieces of advice from a long-time foreign resident in the Middle East about how to react with trust in God in this situation:
1. When you watch TV don’t get upset or fearful about the future, but turn those emotions into prayer. Literally. Stop for just 30 seconds and pray for both Israelis and Palestinians. Spend a bit more time praying for the ones you wouldn’t most likely be praying for.
2. Ask God what your part in this is. We’ve all heard that “we might be God’s solution to some problem.” It might be true. Don’t take yourself too lightly. You might hold some key to ...
[...cracking the spell. Walter Wink calls it the 'myth of redemptive violence']
let's pray so. let's pray. pray peace. pray that we will lay down. that we will love. love Love.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
foggy.flaky.days.finish.the.year.
tonight, i have:
- watched A Christmas Story
- played Apples to Apples and been labeled 'scenic', 'sappy', 'worldly', 'visionary', 'clean', 'easy', 'hostile', and 'dangerous' [agree? disagree? hmm]
- watched all the SNL skits featuring Tina Fey as Sarah Palin
- watched the Georgia Peach drop instead of the New York ball, just for a little variety ;-)
- toasted in the new year...at 11:27, for my early-to-bed-early-to-rise family
this week, i have:
- read half of each of two different Anne Lamott books (Grace Eventually and Plan B)
- read all of Walter Wink's The Powers That Be while riding in our jeep through a snowstorm from the land of ten-thousand lakes back to packer-country
- played three of the most violence-glorifying games ever with my most peace-loving cousins (Zombie Fluxx, Guillotine, and one i can't remember the name of, where everyone holds a buzzer and you get electric-zapped for five seconds if you are the last to push the button)
- watched Slumdog Millionaire...got my heart slammed in a gutter...more comment on that later
- convinced my mom to suit up in snowpants and trek with me across the knee-to-thigh-deep drifts at lovely winter-white Green Lake and capture a few misty moments:
come, light of the world.
- watched A Christmas Story
- played Apples to Apples and been labeled 'scenic', 'sappy', 'worldly', 'visionary', 'clean', 'easy', 'hostile', and 'dangerous' [agree? disagree? hmm]
- watched all the SNL skits featuring Tina Fey as Sarah Palin
- watched the Georgia Peach drop instead of the New York ball, just for a little variety ;-)
- toasted in the new year...at 11:27, for my early-to-bed-early-to-rise family
this week, i have:
- read half of each of two different Anne Lamott books (Grace Eventually and Plan B)
- read all of Walter Wink's The Powers That Be while riding in our jeep through a snowstorm from the land of ten-thousand lakes back to packer-country
- played three of the most violence-glorifying games ever with my most peace-loving cousins (Zombie Fluxx, Guillotine, and one i can't remember the name of, where everyone holds a buzzer and you get electric-zapped for five seconds if you are the last to push the button)
- watched Slumdog Millionaire...got my heart slammed in a gutter...more comment on that later
- convinced my mom to suit up in snowpants and trek with me across the knee-to-thigh-deep drifts at lovely winter-white Green Lake and capture a few misty moments:
come, light of the world.
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